I recently read a ‘Christian’ article on “What Makes A Good Marriage.” It listed “communication - financial stability - and the ability to capitalize on each others strengths” as being the specific things that are necessary for a good marriage. Nowhere in the entirety of the article did it mention the need of Christ in a marriage. Now keep in mind that this was a ‘Christian’ article on marriage. Therein ladies and gentlemen lies the very reason for virtually all of mankind’s troubles, replacing the doctrine of God with doctrines of man.
Marriages are dropping like leaves in the Autumn. Homes are disintegrating and failing apart. What is the reason? According to the Bible one of the main reasons is the lack of Godly leadership by the husband. God has ordained the husband for the role of leader in the family. For you feminists who may be ‘offended’ by that I genuinely and sincerely offer to you no apologies whatsoever. It is the Word of God. But exactly how is the husband to lead? First, men, make absolutely certain you fully understand that being a loving and Godly husband does NOT mean being a “dictator.” As the husband you must love your wife more than anything else on earth. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” says the Bible (Ephesians 5:25). The way that you love your wife must be a direct reflection of how Jesus loves the church. And how did Christ show His love for His Church? Very simply. He showed His love through His gentleness and His patience, through His thoughtfulness and His unwavering kindness, through the fact that never did a harsh word fall from His lips, never did He do anything to cause pain, and His affection never tired or ever failed for even an instant. The husband is to love his wife in these same ways.
I believe that one of the holiest ingredients in a happy marriage and home is a true Christian wife and mother. There are a great many wonderful and beautiful things that are sent into this world by God and one of the most precious among them is a Godly wife and mother. As a husband you should never be too busy to let your wife know what a blessing she is and how much you love and appreciate her and all that she does. To put it simply: Your wife should know what Jesus’ love is like simply by the way that you love her.
If, as leaders in the home, we husbands want to be a proper follower of Jesus then we must always compare our actions with His. We must first look to Christ as the ultimate example of what true leadership is in a marriage. You must make certain that the Bible is the one and only foundation for every moral decision that you make in your home. As a Godly husband you must influence your wife and children in such a way as it aligns perfectly with the Word of God. This can be accomplished only if you are a spiritually committed man. You cannot lead anyone anywhere if you have not first been there yourself. Your words, your actions, everything in you and about you must bring glory to God and exemplify His Holy Name.
The home is also where we mold the character of our Children. From the moment they are born we must hold them and love them. We must teach them to know Christ as their Lord and Saviour. As parents we do that by living our own lives in such a way that it demonstrates God’s constant presence in, and His continual control over our own lives. Then, Christ is effectively formed in our children’s lives as well. The home is where we must (as David said) “magnify the Lord and exalt His Name together.” God’s command is this: “You shall teach My Words diligently to your children when you sit in your house, from the time that you rise up to the time that you lay down.” The greatest desire of the home should be for the spiritual development and eternal salvation of every person living in that home. Parents need to pray every day for strength, wisdom, and guidance in leading holy Christian lives in front of their children because your children’s eternal future is at stake. Satan would love to have your children, but wouldn’t you rather place them safe in the arms of God?
We must lay the foundation of our home on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. We must see to it that its 'construction' is dovetailed through and through with Biblical principles because when Christ is a constant presence in the home, when He remains central in the home and in the hearts of both the parents and children, the result is a home so fortified by the Blood of Christ that even the gates of hell cannot shake it. If Christ-centered love is in the home and prayer continues to always connect that home with Heaven, then it is the best home in the world!
A successful marriage consists of three people: husband, wife and God. Christ must be allowed full control over all aspects of marriage and family, for how can we expect Christianity to have a positive effect on society if we do not first allow it to transform our own lives, our own marriages, and our own homes?
The sad truth is that an ice cube placed on a sun baked sidewalk survives longer than many marriages today. As goes the anchor that when dropped renders the ship stagnant, so also goes the way of marriage when the husband fails in stepping up and fulfilling his God given responsibilities as leader. As a husband, Jesus is your ultimate example of a leader. Be that kind of leader in your home!
God bless you,
Mark Shutts